February 1, 2012
Sometimes life is just so beautiful. You feel as if you’re back in Junior high and you finally got the balls to ask the girl you like out, and it just so happens that International Love Day is right around the corner. You painstakingly think of and create cute little gifts and write out little poems for her, or him, whatever, and then sit and wait for that day to come. It may be a month, two months, six months away but you are locked and loaded and NOBODY is going to get in the way of the love that is about to be. So then the day comes, you wipe the dust off your tiny little heart shaped cards all glued together. you scrape the sock lint off from where it stuck to the glue when you hid it from your approaching mother by cramming it still wet into your dresser. You notice a misspelling and throw some whiteout on it, carefully redoing the word in the same color ink, and you go to your destiny, on your determined pink pony of love…
For me, its a magical season. Others, maybe not. Something has changed in the last few years as I have recently observed. Its no longer cool or hip to actually celebrate these holidays which have been dubbed “consumer,” and everyone is a fucking douche on these once special days. Douche day is a holiday that is celebrated every December, January, February, April,  and Thanksgiving month. So this Douche day, I’m joining a Craigslist holiday remembrance club, and I’m gonna follow the clues to finding my ultimate love partner, and all you Douches can celebrate Douche day together while I’m getting my purr on in a bed of roses. Out. 

Sometimes life is just so beautiful. You feel as if you’re back in Junior high and you finally got the balls to ask the girl you like out, and it just so happens that International Love Day is right around the corner. You painstakingly think of and create cute little gifts and write out little poems for her, or him, whatever, and then sit and wait for that day to come. It may be a month, two months, six months away but you are locked and loaded and NOBODY is going to get in the way of the love that is about to be. So then the day comes, you wipe the dust off your tiny little heart shaped cards all glued together. you scrape the sock lint off from where it stuck to the glue when you hid it from your approaching mother by cramming it still wet into your dresser. You notice a misspelling and throw some whiteout on it, carefully redoing the word in the same color ink, and you go to your destiny, on your determined pink pony of love…

For me, its a magical season. Others, maybe not. Something has changed in the last few years as I have recently observed. Its no longer cool or hip to actually celebrate these holidays which have been dubbed “consumer,” and everyone is a fucking douche on these once special days. Douche day is a holiday that is celebrated every December, January, February, April,  and Thanksgiving month. So this Douche day, I’m joining a Craigslist holiday remembrance club, and I’m gonna follow the clues to finding my ultimate love partner, and all you Douches can celebrate Douche day together while I’m getting my purr on in a bed of roses. Out. 

  1. candythepoledancer posted this