I spent the better part of my day off wolfing down french fries at my favorite barfateria inside this strip mall up the road. Its nice to get away and not risk your regulars seeing you act like them, like a disgusting regular person. I loathe regular people, so when I have to act like one I try my damnedest to be as disgusting as possible… A few combo meals later I decided to try and work off some of the twenty five thousand calories I had just consumed and decided stupidly to check out this lingerie store my friend had recommended. She must be a total square because first of all I prefer my lingerie to be comprised of at least fifty percent fishing string and ninety five percent edible. The nice young future stripper (college student) tried to help me find something at could at least save for a formal occasion (like my impending coronary failure/funeral) but once I realized I was blinding her with the grease reflection off my many chins and guts, I got incredibly sad and started barfing all over the floor. Needless to say I wont be hanging out anywhere near that strip mall anytime soon….or ever again.